A few days ago, I found myself sitting in a plush beige leather chair in my company's boardroom getting ready to officially meet my divisional President. It should be noted that we did meet unofficially last year during an awkward elevator ride, but I'm pretty sure he didn't remember that encounter. At least, I hope he didn't. I'm a Senior Manager in the company, so technically he would be my boss' boss' boss' boss.
It was a casual meeting with about 12 attendees from different brands and functional areas within the company. The sole purpose of the meeting was for him to get to know the names, faces and stories behind some the people that he indirectly manages. Basically, it consisted of us going around the table and telling everyone our name, job/history with the company & something personal about ourselves.
As each of the employees who went before me spoke, I frantically searched my brain for the right words and story to tell for when it became my turn. There were personal stories of marriages, children, grand-children & home ownership. These are all things that I used to associate with not too long ago, but feel strangely foreign to me now. No one talked about being divorced or childless or how online dating fucking sucks. Nope. They all had cute stories about getting used to their married names, starting families, buying houses, coaching their child's soccer game, or where they planned to retire someday.
When my turn came, I found myself talking about rock climbing. Apparently, but not surprisingly, this is how I chose to define myself. I went on about leading trad & sport (and what the difference between the two is). I artfully worked in the current events of Tommy Caldwell's completion of the Dawn Wall project, to which I think I saw a couple of enthusiastic head nods in the room (thanks to network news). I basically walked away from the meeting feeling like a badass rebel amongst a crowd of social reformists.
But, really, all I did was create a huge smoke cloud. As it turns out, I'm pretty good at this. I'm not married. I don't have 1.5 children. I don't own a home. I'm not saving for my child's education. I don't know where I'm going to retire. I have no idea how to coach soccer.
What am I doing? I'm doing what I can. I'm being brutally honest. I'm waking up each day thankful to be alive and healthy. I'm setting personal goals & doing my best to achieve them. I'm hoping that my limited time on this planet is making a difference. I'm trying not to fixate on past love & keep my heart open to new love. I'm not settling. Ever. As my most recent first date told me after I flat out rejected him: "You're refreshing." Yup. That's me... Refreshing honesty. It's not for everyone.
Goals for 2015? I'm going simple this year: Enjoy life, try new things & continue to push my comfort zone. Am I going to free climb the Dawn Wall? Hell no. I'm going to free climb my life.
